Dinner With The Omnivore

Looks fishy to me

Posted on: July 27, 2010

pope benedict

Sexual naughtiness is right out, OK? Oh, except for us, obviously.

The Catholic church, that bastion of sexual integrity ( errrrr ……….. let’s not go there, shall we?) tells us that in order to marry, a couple must meet stringent criteria. They should be free to marry, which sounds uncharacteristically sane and sensible, considering where the advice is coming from. They should be baptised Christians, not too closely related, ‘in good standing with the church’, and definitely not homosexual in any way. (This last criterion doesn’t apply to the priest doing the marrying, naturally. Or possibly unnaturally.)

Surprisingly the church’s guidelines do not at any point mention fish. When you consider the central part played by seafood in the Gospels and the lives of the apostles (several of whom were genuine fishermen rather than the metaphorical sort), this becomes suspicious to the point of conspiracy theory.

Had I taken proper account of the whole fish issue, I might easily still be single. I have to confess that I rushed irresponsibly into matrimony without sober consideration of the consequences of shackling myself to a man for whom prawns are poisonous, anchovies anathema and mussels frankly ming.

A fish. I'd think twice about this one, actually.

Unfortunately, having made my bed I now have to lie in it, and I either lead a fish-free existence or have to make two dinners. Being a lazy slattern, I end up fishless, though I have been known to make prawn salad to take to work for lunch.

So the good news that JC had managed to walk (or possibly limp) straight off sick pay and into a job for the rest of the summer got even better when it transpired that in addition to being paid for his efforts he gets fed both lunch and dinner. Which means that a) I can probably cut the food bill by two thirds for the rest of the summer and b) I can eat whatever I like. Fish, ahoy.

Getting served at Casino’s fish counter can be a bit of a project, since it doesn’t have a dedicated member of staff, and you have to rely on catching the eye of whoever happens to be manning the deli counter. For this reason I was about to succumb to the temptation of raiding the fresh fish fridge for the ready-to-grill sardine fillets with marinade (6,50€ and enough to feed four, but guaranteed I could scoff the lot in a oner as I happen to know they’re delicious), but fortunately for both waistline and wallet the

Dutch tourist. Yes, of course they all wear clogs.

Dutch tourists in front of me managed to reel in a deli operative, so I ended up with a trout at a much more sensible size and less than half the price.

Since I didn’t fancy plain grilled trout and am never that impressed with the local truite aux amandes thing, I opted for winging it with whatever was in the fridge. And the result, though I say so myself, was particularly spiffing. All it needs is a posh name and it could go in a book. Unfortunately I have Leonard of Quirm’s talent for snappy names, so it’s probably destined to lurk in my personal recipe collection before disappearing back into the ether whence it came when I get round to hopping off the twig.

Trout For Women Who Rushed Into Marriage With Culinarily Unsuitable Men.

You will need: a trout; some capers: the green bits of a spring onion: olive oil: squirt of lemon juice; some cherry tomatoes.

Rinse the trout and put it on a baking tray. Chop the capers and the spring onion, add olive oil and lemon juice, season and spread over the fish. Cut the tomatoes in half and scatter around the trout. Grill until the fish is cooked through (about 20 minutes).

Trout prior to grilling. Looking promising already.

This should give you a trout slightly charred and crisp on one side but succulent and juicy underneath. Serve with whatever you like – I had green salad, but new potatoes could be good as well.

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8 Responses to "Looks fishy to me"

I went off trout some time ago, not that I can remember why…but thanks to you, it’s off to the fish counter so that to try your recipe…and then off for a quick six hours among the cookery books for the recipe for cold trout with orange that I know I liked…but can’t remember in which book it lurks.

And people wonder what we do to pass the time in the countryside…

There are much worse things to do with your spare time than eat fish. Trout is the only really fesh fish we get here, what with being a bit landlocked.

That sounds wonderful! You are so creative.

It was great – very smugly pleased with myself!

[…] with someone who turns his nose up at perfectly acceptable run-of-the-mill foodstuffs. And while refusing to eat anchovies isn’t too restricting – what with them being very small and quite expensive – […]

[…] think may have discussed the importance of culinary compatibility in a relationship before. In fact I’m sure I have. I wonder if Ms Middleton has thoroughly vetted her prince for willingness to eat basic foodstuffs […]

It takes talent to work Leonard of Quirm into a yarn about a trout. Well done, that woman.

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